Vaginal Domination

People and intercourse go together like Saxons and barbarism. Being potent during the act of coitus is important, but, what many don't consider is the importance of making sure everyone knows that you wield your penis like a two-handed sword imbued with magic so potent, it could cut through the flesh and bones of fifty infidels without dulling.

"But I have saved myself for marriage, for it is the will of my God," you might be thinking to yourself. Indeed, your God would likely damn you for sexual deviancy, sentencing you to be fisted by demons for all of eternity. Of course, this presents a problem if your desire is to exude raw sexuality like the cloud of thick musk that a mare in heat ejects. But do not despair! You merely have to pretend that you've experienced the company of all the kings concubines, you don't have to invade the palace of your lord and to have your way with his lady-folk.

I shall refer to my experience from the courting of my third wife, Ermengarde. Indeed, I had come into manhood by that point, but this is an irrelevant detail. There are several things you must do to win the attention of a maiden:

First you must get the maidens attention. I have found that starting fires is a perfect way to do this. My Ermengarde lived by a stable, which is a perfect location for a fire. The thatch roof provided excellent kindling, and, after I had unleashed the animals and made sure that they could make the most raucous escape, I was bound to earn somebodies attention. Indeed! The whole neighborhood was aware of my courting by the end of the night, and with only six peasants deceased trying to put out the fire! A small victory.

Once young Ermengarde knew of my name, I had to make sure that she knew of my intentions to make her mine. I had my father host a fair, nothing too fantastic, as our land had experienced a drought (and fathers drinking had become steadily worse) and we couldn't afford it, but we nonetheless invited families from several adjacent realms. I waited eagerly for the fair. During the dance, which opened the festivities, I spotted young Ermengarde, who looked exquisite. I made my way to her and spent four to five minutes thrusting several paces in front of her. I could tell by the look in the maidens eye that my thrusting was impressing her. I left abruptly and let her consider my display for a few hours.

The next day, I entered myself in a tournament and fought in her honor. I was enrolled in one-on-one combat with another man. I took him apart and won the day. She was mine by dusk.

So, what have we learned from my example? You must initiate a relationship with an ostentatious display to get attention, then you must thrust at a would-be mate, and then you must kill another man in her honor. The system works.

Heed my advice, young reader.